Survivor: Vanuatu episode 6 recap

Leave it to a black man on a tropical island in the middle of nowhere to find him some crack. ZING!!!

Week 6, here we go...

In hindsight of the way he treated the two guys on Yasur last week, Jeff brainstormed with the producers and the challenge makers to come up with a way for the ladies to regret getting rid of Bubba: Pig wrangling. If I were to guess that any one survivor had chased and caught a pig before, my money is on Bubba. This would have been huge for the Yasur tribe. This could have turned the tide for Yasur in a big way. Alas, no one saw an orange picture of Bob Barker swiftly scooping up pigs like nobody's business. For Rupert's sake, even Twila got her a squealer (his name is Chirs).

Again this week, terrible reward. Yes, I agree that protein is very important in anyone's diet. When your stuck on an island with every poop you've had for the last 30 +/- days, a huge plate of steak and eggs just creates problems. I didn't even mention the fact that there will be a substantial ammount of flammible gases hanging over the Lapevi camp on a volcanic island. The next eruption could be there last.

Immunity challenge was some of the same. Bubba would have been an asset, but's he's too dumb to survive. The ladies came up short. Rory again gave 110% like he always says he does. Well, it was a little more like 108.74% but we'll let him round up. You earned it, buddy.

Rory: I'm gonna give you insight into the white mind. First off, 5 white women in a group will be scared when a black man approaches, it's natural. Take this in stride. When 5 white women hear a black man say things like "crack" and "slave", again you're gonna freak some people out. These phrases should be avoided at all costs, for fear of you waking up on a beach by yourself. Aside from that, you should have left you pity pot at the Lapevi camp. Jon might need it next week.

Scout: You have nothing to fall back on. You've rode coat tails thus far. You're going home next week. Nothing cute to say about you, no jokes, nothing. Just leave quietly.

Sarge: TWILA...IN A DRESS!?!?!?!? Somebody get medical over here. Sarge got a bad steak, sun poisoning, or something. All this leading has gotten the best of him. Plus, he's messing with Chris' girl here. Sarge, a marine you may be, but don't mess with the white trash's girl. Those guys go crazy when they fight you with like bottles and biting and junk. Man, you better watch your leather neck, Sarge.

Chris: Ok, now calm down. Sarge didn't mean it. He's under a lot of pressure, that's all. Just eat your steak and everything will work itself out in the morning. No, no, no that wasn't Twila on Sarge's shoulders, it was, um, Jon, yeah that's it, Jon. It just looked funny with the sun coming in at this angle. Let's go over here for a little bit and find some Rory fruit.

Twila: Playing the field, I hear ya. I think you found you calling; guys on deserted islands. Some women dig lawyers, some doctors, some cowboys. You need to go after the one's who haven't interacted with women in a couple of weeks. They're ripe for the pickin'.

Julie: Nice blurs. Come on, CBS. Yeah, ok, I understand the "no nipple" policy, but you won't even let me see the side of the boob? Thanks a lot, Janet Jackson.

Nub (you know who you are): I think you should step up (no pun intended) and start taking a stand (no pun intended) as a leader of the group. You need to kick (no pun intended) the stereotypes and run circles (no pun intended) around the competition. If you don't, you won't have a le....do I really need to finish this sentence?

Lisa: You stuck to your word...you big dummy.

Eliza: Probably the biggest thing helping you out right now is the fact that women can't cohabitate a common space for an indefinite ammount of time without getting on each other's nerves. Your mid-challenge quitting had little to do with the vote, when it should have been more closely examined. Thank that old pirate in the sky Rupert, that Leann quit during an immunity challenge. That was in your favor, whether you knew it or not. By the way, next time your responsible for a failure, suck it up and move forward, don't sit there like a bumbling idiot trying to form sentences with nothing but vowels.

Leann: (see above statement, find parts relevant to you, remember it)

Jon: Again, keep your head down. One more vote and it's merge time. You've done well to avoid the vote of the majority, like a young, white Rory.

Well, that's all I got outta this week. Tune in next week when:

1) In a freak drunken accident, Twila accidentally marries Chris...and Sarge. She then finds her old yearbook, reads what Dah wrote her, and remember how good it truely was with him...
2) Eliza and Leann have a staring contest; both give up in the middle of it; both cry about it later.
3) Rory tries that nude sun-bathing trick over at Yasur. Ami complains, and Scout gets voted out for it.
4) Next week's reward challenge involves fixing a car; reward is Metamucil and Vodka